i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
