laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
