Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
