We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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