she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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