I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
