dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
