We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
