we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
