I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
