hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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