I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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