I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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