Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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