its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
