Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
