Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
