i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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