Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this hospital has no fireball
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My ass is underappreciated
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
