If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
