I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
