Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
