Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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