Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
