Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
