Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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