We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
