You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
