DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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