After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize