My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
