I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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