mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
