belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
