Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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