We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
