Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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