Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
