I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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