so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
