So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
