He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
