hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
