i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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