U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
