Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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