Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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