quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
