Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I intend to get homeless drunk
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
