the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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