the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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