I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
